Ok. So I didn’t take many pictures in Mallorca. One would be justified in wondering about the lack of beach photos considering that I spent the last twenty-three days in a really popular destination for beach-going tourists. The answer is that I’m a curmudgeon. The beach is full of sun and pretty people. It stresses me out. Plus I’m supposed to be writing, not enjoying myself. Here’s what I’ve got, picture-wise.

 

So I’m an idiot and I went climbing without climbing shoes. The cliffs were beautiful and the swimming was fun but the rocks were kind of sharp. Also I suck at climbing. There was an exciting moment when a crazy guy cliff jumped from what looked like sixty feet.

The necessary elements for writing a novel include a lighter, and ashtray, a liter of beer, a laptop, and a balcony. As Vonnegut would say “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.”

I took one last picture from Mike’s balcony. Solid spot.

For my last night we went to a Chinese restaurant. This is Mike trying to show me what a cellular telephone is and how it functions. My understanding is that it’s like a can and string setup except that’s it’s a bit more expensive. During dinner I was convinced that I have to get a Twitter for the sake of my writing career. I asked a lot of dumb questions including whether tweets were directional. This was accompanied by a hand gesture. I also asked if people had twitter friends. Mike said we sound like 80 year-olds. I have a twitter now. I have yet to “tweet”.

Unfortunately, as sometimes happens, my lodging ran out one day before my departure date. As a result, I slept my last Mallorcan night on this couch. That pillow seems incidental but it is not. It provided crucial back support. Also, this couch may look big but I am at least five feet longer than it. Mike’s friends hosted us and they’re awesome. We played lots of rounds of a card game that requires a better memory than I possess.

I really needed a scale this morning to see if my checked bag would be too heavy. We could not find one. I was 0.5 kilograms overweight. Mike found this at the park, of all places, later in the day. You win some you lose some.

I have arrived in Scotland. I live in this castle.

That’s not true. I live in an apartment. I am very tired due to the aforementioned lodging mishap but otherwise things are good. Tomorrow I will set out in search of cool coffee shops to write in. I will take more pictures at some point. Maybe I will tweet some of these pictures. If anyone has Twitter advice feel free to let me know.

 

PS. The picture that goes with this post is of a cat-shaped demon that I had a run-in with. My advice to you is as follows. If you come across a cat-shaped demon do not approach it. Especially do not approach its super cute kitten-shaped offspring. The cat-shaped demon may react poorly.